I like to think that on a normal day-to-day basis, I’m pretty easy to please and that I am almost always very much in love with my current “life” situation. But as of late I have been struggling with feeling satisfied. It was as if a month ago a switch in the universe went off (or on?) and I started to have negative thoughts about my job, my skin, my apartment and everything in it, my relationships, my finances, etc. This feeling growing feeling of unsatisfaction was practically impossible to over-look – it was completely consuming all of my thoughts up until as recently as yesterday…
Anyone who has known me longer than 72 hours probably knows that I am a big believer in the concepts of The Secret – that the key to living the life of your dreams is deep rooted in positive thoughts and visualizing the outcomes that you most desire. No, I don’t visualize myself winning the lottery. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that visualizing and positive thinking is what helped me find and land my current job and last job. I can notice a definite change in myself when I am full of positivity… It’s like a balloon that has just been filled and I’m happy without realizing it. This way of living is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but I have been trying to actively practice ever since reading the book almost four years ago.
You would think that practicing positivity on a regular basis would have prevented me from feeling so glum about almost everything that’s a part of my twenty something life… I can’t exactly pin-point what the turning point was but I do think that one negative thought can lead to hundreds that feed off each other and grow and grow. When you put bad energy into the universe it gives it right back to you (hence why I typically try to be Positive Patty all the time).
It could have made sense to dub all my thoughts of unsatisfaction as a tiny “quarter-life crisis” since I turn twenty-five next month. But it would have been too easy to blame my age. Of all people, I get most irritated when my actions and attitude gets called out as a product of my years. Especially when most of us can point to those older than us for setting an example of unsatisfaction… You know the people (older, younger, peers, whomever!) that never seem happy unless they are complaining, or comparing, or wanting more-more-more, or making it all about me-me-me? Let’s not be like them, okay? That look doesn’t show well on anyone…
I’m making today my last day to feel negative. Honestly, this whole post today was going to be only long complaint about how unsatisfied I am with my apartment (seriously? of all the things… shame on me) but a wonderful meeting with a dear friend and sort-of mentor yesterday made me change my mind when she changed my whole outlook and attitude without even trying. Our short time together reminded me that success is self definied and that sometimes the best we can be is someone that is self aware and though conscious of goals and dreams, takes things one step at a time and remembers to enjoy and relish the present, too. I left her feeling completely satisfied with where I am at – a real 180 from where my mental state was minutes before meeting her. And so I decided that today is my last day to whine, complain, feel sorry or negative for myself or dwell the petty “problems” in my life. Life is just too short to not be positive in the present.
Yes, I do wish things were different when it comes to my job and that I didn’t have wall-to-wall carpeting in my apartment… But timing is everything, baby steps are necessary, and being patient while visualizing the good to come has always worked in my favor before. Positive Patty is back in business.
(Image via Diary of The Coveteur)