I was lucky enough to spend all of Friday through Sunday in Chicago – visiting some of my favorite people who also happen to be my closest and best friends from college. It’s bazaar to me that it has been over two years since I had seen most of them… How fast time goes once graduation is celebrated and real jobs and real lives commence. It was an incredible weekend and it made me all the more aware of 1) how much I miss my friends, 2) how low my drinking tolerance is, and 3) how living in Dallas is really like living in a bubble – a bubble I have come to love.
78% of my friends live in Chicago. The other 22% are in New York. To be 100% honest, I had always felt very bitter and resentful that I was the one friend living in a city essentially by myself. Lots of loneliness and whining about how hard it was to have no already established close friends nearby aside from Sally (who is my best friend but sister first). Obviously it was my choice to move to Dallas, and I could have tried to find a job in either of the cities where my friends flocked to after school but I took the easy route and moved to where I had a long-standing job offer and affordable living waiting for me. I don’t want to knock Dallas – it has become my home and I really do love it. What they say about Texans is true, they are friendly to a fault… But it is not easy to make friends when you did not grown up there, did not go to any local schools, work for a company where you are the youngest (by several years), and everyone pretty much has their group established and friendships have been tied up for years. It’s not like I am married with kids and can make friends by the default school connections or what have you. And I feel like I have a right to acknowledge how alone and depressed I felt!
It took me a while to snap out of my bitterness (bitter at myself? The situation? I think it was both). Moving in with Sally a little over a year ago helped tremendously. Starting a new job in a totally different work environment with more people my age made things even better. And getting to know more and more Dallas bloggers and other sweet girls has been the best thing to happen yet. I stopped wallowing and was determined to put an effort into being social in my city and proactive about inviting friends to come and visit me and planning trips to see them. These girlfriends are who I plan to force to be in my bridal party someday… And even if we aren’t able to talk all the time or see each other as much as we’d like, when we are together we just pick up where we left off and it’s easy and ridiculously fun. I can’t even put into words what it’s like being with them and how hard it is living without them.
We are a fun group… And it almost felt like I was re-living my college “glory” days while visiting them. As boring as I am now, I like to think that I was pretty fun for most of the four years I spent in college. I don’t really know how all you readers feel about drinking, but let’s just say that I enjoy having a few and in college I was able to keep up pretty well. Fast forward to where I am now and aside from the one to two glasses of wine I have in a week, I really don’t drink like I used to. So this weekend I guess I thought that my body would perform just like it did in college and knocking back drinks with my friends would be as easy as it seemed… Ugh… Nope. Wrong, so very wrong. You know in Finding Nemo when Nemo is trying to swim out and touch the boat and his dad is yelling, “You think you can do these things but you just can’t!”? Well, that’s what I woke up yelling at myself on Saturday morning. I’ll spare you the details, but basically I think I can consume beverages like I used to while in college and I just can’t. Which is perfectly fine! My brain just has trouble remembering it and I often get myself into trouble. Having a few (or several) drinks can make a good time with friends even more fun – but it’s not fun when you over serve yourself and wake up feeling like a total idiot. Boo. Lessons learned at nearly 25!
So aside from being with my buds and drinking too much, this was sort of like my first time to really, really experience Chicago and the Lincoln Park area that so many of my friends live in…. And I liked Chicago, I really did. It’s charming and there is so much to do and see – so much character. And in response to the pleading of my precious and hysterical friends that live there, yes I do think I could someday end up living in Chicago to be closer to all of them and the Midwest lifestyle I grew up with… But omg I love Dallas. It’s a bubble of a city that is so easy to live in and any time I visit somewhere else I’m reminded of how much I love living here (even with the lack of best friends). It just makes me wonder where I will end up putting down family roots… The next three to five years seem like they will be game-changer years and it will be exciting/terrifying to see how it all plays out! In the meantime, I’ll be organizing more trips to visit my wild besties 
(Image via After DRK)
Please come back soon! Love, love, love you!
xo
I can't tell you how much I identify with this post! I went from living off-campus in a big old house with seven of my best friends to living in the suburbs with friends scattered in cities all across the country. It's hard not seeing them every day but we pick up where we left off every time we find ourselves in the same place. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone on this! xoxo
So happy you enjoyed your weekend here in Chicago! It is a fun town, but I completely understand the lack of best friend predicament. I moved here without knowing many people and have come to love it like you love Dallas! There is a book that you might like called MWF Seeking BFF, about a gal who went on 52 friend dates in a year trying to find her BFF in a new city. It's a fun read!
Also, the drinking aspect: I feel you there, too! Hangovers last all day now! What happened to my college liver? haha
Totes know what you mean about not having that built-in group of friends – I've been in New York for 4 years now and don't have that – most of my friends are in Hong Kong, sadly! I live with my sister too though and that's definitely helped a lot, and I have made some good friends here so I can't complain, but I do sometimes miss just having a group of friends to always hang out with!
Right?! I went from hometown comfort to Alaska (out of my element) and I have no one up here except my hubby and puppy. I wallow about loneliness a lot to my family…but I guess that's why I enjoy blogging so much–it gives me people time without me worrying about having no car here or network to connect with. I am hopeful the next three years will change in that way, but let's just say, I am in need of some girl-time.
I actually made the mistake of thinking I had to be where my friends are. Sure, I loved being around my friends but its wasn't my life or my home.
Things have a funny way of working out and you should never force anything. Thanks for sharing your weekend! -C
mossypants.com
I'm passing this along to my best friend who just moved to Dallas. Her boyfriend is there & that's it- she doesn't know anyone else. Its only been a few weeks but I think she's struggling a bit since she has no friends yet.
Maybe she just needs to start a blog!
I actually made the mistake of thinking I had to be where my friends are. Sure, I loved being around my friends but its wasn't my life or my home.
Things have a funny way of working out and you should never force anything. Thanks for sharing your weekend! -C
mossypants.com
Gosh, I can't even remember how I found your blog, but what sweet timing. I just got back from a wonderful visit home and it made me miss my group of friends even more than I was already. Moving to a new town is super hard and can feel awfully lonely! But time will help and so I'm just trying to settle into a new routine while crossing my fingers Dallas becomes a bit like home.
I absolutely understand how you felt/feel. I just moved to Boston and left all my friends in NYC, I hope that I can find my own group of friends here like you did! Maybe I just need to stop working so hard and actually get out and meet a few people
I totally understand where you are coming from. I opted to move some place where NONE of my dear close college friends lived soon after college and those I turn a little green when I hear of all of the get-togethers and coffee talks they have, I've come to love where I am now. And I ADORE Chicago.
I really enjoy your personal posts, especially this one since I am from Dallas and just moved up to Chicago in July. First of all, I learned very quickly that if it is football season or summer here, chicagoans enjoy their day drinking and my body has yet to keep up. Secondly, I feel ya on making friends in a new city. After finding a random roommate, joining sports leagues, and creeping at college alumni events, I have to say I got very lucky with finding lady friends in a new city!
I cannot tell you how much this post speaks to me! I am right there with you girl. Although I'm basically a Texas girl, I have moved back home to a small town while I prepare for Law School and have felt pretty alone here. Although, I went to high school here everyone I know is gone and there is absolutely nothing to do here. I travel a lot and have my blog.. But I would love to be in NYC with most of my college friends! These next few years are definitely life changers for sure!
xx
Giovanna
http://www.oliveandanarrow.com
I've lived in Dallas three years now and I'm just finding good girlfriends. Its so odd to me that mid-twenties ladies seem to have the same problems I did when I first moved here and while its gotten better its still hard to find your niche sometimes. Also can't drink like I used to. Never thought I'd be a light weight.
first and foremost, I've been a lot of places in my life including europe twice, but there's something about chicago that i just love. nothing can touch this intimate yet vibrant and bustling city. it's a city i could easily call home. second-i kind felt like you were my inner voice when you started talking about settling and making a life on your own in a new city. great talk today girls!
As someone who moved from CT to IN at 25 years old, I completely understand how you feel! I ended my 2 year pity party recently and even though things are still so different here than what I'm used to, and all of my closest friends are far away – I am finally starting to make a happier life for myself…
And Chicago is amazing, but SO expensive!
I hope you had fun!! We need to make plans for future visits!
This is all my biggest fear as graduation approaches for me….eek!
I love this post! It's definitely hard to move and settle into a new city. I feel like it just takes time to get into the groove of things; with friends, job, apartments etc. I moved to LA from Calgary when all my friends had moved to Vancouver and there were times I definitely was lonely and questioned my decision. In the end I am very happy and love my life here in LA. I'm glad you are happy now in Dallas!
I am going through Molly-withdrawals.
Love you my girl!
Oh my. Not only was this post awesome, so were all of the comments that followed. It feels great to know that I'm not totally crazy when it comes to finding new girlfriends in a new city. I had an easier time finding my husband than I have finding a solid group of girlfriends. (I know they're out there… It's just so hard after college, for some reason.) Anyway, I moved to Dallas almost 4 years ago (time flies!) from Atlanta, where I went to college. I still keep in touch regularly with my college besties, but man, I do get a little envious when I know 800 miles away on a Friday night they are all having a blast. without me. Ha!
Molly,
I feel like you are my fairy godmother right about now. or the older sister i never had…or maybe my older sister dripping in baubles that makes you look like a fairy. either way, i cannot tell you how much i needed to read this post. i just recently stumbled upon a piece of toast, and i have absolutely LOVED every bit of your blog. from the images in your header to the description of what this little blog means to you, it was one of those ohh my god they are so much cooler than me/ ugh, wish i had thought of that moments…but in the best way possible. And this post literally came on a day when i was full of self-pity. i just graduated from a midwestern university where i lived with my best friends and had the best time ever. now im home at my parents house and missing all of them like crazy. i feel disconnected in a city and think that the rest of them are living the high life. It is so reassuring to know that there are lots of people who feel just like i do, and if a girl like you is feeling this way, then there is hope for me! I too need to make an effort rather than just let my mind wander and drink wine while watching SVU marathons…and your encouragement has motivated me even further! Thank you so much!
xx,
alex
Love your blog. Don't get to read often so when I do, I catch several which is why I'm reading this Sept post in Dec! Yes, I love Dallas too! Question – do you have any idea what brand of watch this is in the photo? Love love!