I’m not around kids all that much – that is Sally’s daily realm – so it was a treat that I got to babysit two darling sisters Saturday night. Though three and a half years apart, they were so alike with their big crazy hair and sweet personalities. I know people always say this, but kids are funny. Especially when they are around new people… I mean, I haven’t seen two people more excited to meet me than these girls were. They informed me that I looked and talked just like “Miss. Miller” (they both go to the school Sally teaches at) and that they liked the shoes I was wearing (probably because they had seen Miss. Miller wearing them).
I was pretty entertained the whole night… Listening to them banter back and forth over pizza, watching them parade in various dress up clothes with super serious faces, and helping them pick out matching nightgowns to wear to bed. The best part of the night was when they both told me that they loved me and that they really wanted me to come back and babysit them again. Melted. I of course told them that I loved them too and that I would be back sooner rather than later.
At first I thought, “Only sweet and innocent children can make declarations of love that quickly and honestly,” but then I tried to remember back to the first time I met some of my most favorite people – people that I genuinely love – and even if I didn’t say “I love you” at the time I definitely knew right off the bat that I liked them a whole lot and that we were destined to be friends. Sometimes you just know. Maybe love at first sight can apply to friends as well as significant others.
And if I’m going to be honest (and this is Toast Talk, so of course I am going to be honest) for all the people I’ve met and known, “hey I like you, let’s be friends!” I’ve probably met just as many people and immediately not clicked with them. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it. Maybe a lot of you are shaking your heads and saying that I judge too quickly, that I don’t give people the benefit of the doubt. But hear me out… We all have different personalities – we can’t be expected to connect with every person we meet – and really I don’t think that makes us bad people. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone; you just have to have respect for everyone. For me, being a “grown up” means spending more time with the people I love and want to hang out with and less time worrying about being buddy-buddy with everyone I meet. There’s no benefit in being fake friends.
Little people and their somewhat simplistic lives make for such good reminders of how I should try to act… My sweet new friends made me realize that I could work on having better manners (“Yes, mam” and “no thank you”), that I should have a disciplined early bedtime so my hyper energy doesn’t keep me awake, and that I should really say “I love you” a little more spontaneously when I really mean it. And now I understand why Sally always seems so much more sweet and loving than me – she gets to be around darling little people all day, every day!
(Image via George and Ruby, Oscar de la Renta Children’s Spring/Summer 2013)
Your Monday Toast Talk series is quickly becoming one of my favorites. You always speak right from the heart – and I continually find myself nodding my head in agreement as I read along…
Life is short and I find a lot of people I know spend time with people who don't really fulfill their lives. You can't expect to mesh with everyone. And you are right – I often shy away from voicing my adoration for someone I meet for fear of being rejected or looking overly eager. But really, what do I have to lose? If it's a "match" so to speak, chances are I'll be greeted with the same sentiments!
Keep up the great work!
I could not agree with you more! It was such a relief to me when I finally realized that I didn't have to like everyone nor did everyone have to like me. Focusing on my wonderful sweet amazing friends, rather than throwing time at people who I simply didn't click with, makes me so much more happy!
I have found that as I get older I get more and more picky of who my friends are. I used to have a huge group and now its diminished to only a few but those are the ones I KNOW I can count on & actually enjoy always being around! It also makes me a better friend since I can use all my time between them, my boyfriend & my family! Great Post!
I have found that as I get older I get more and more picky of who my friends are. I used to have a huge group and now its diminished to only a few but those are the ones I KNOW I can count on & actually enjoy always being around! It also makes me a better friend since I can use all my time between them, my boyfriend & my family! Great Post!
I have found that as I get older I get more and more picky of who my friends are. I used to have a huge group and now its diminished to only a few but those are the ones I KNOW I can count on & actually enjoy always being around! It also makes me a better friend since I can use all my time between them, my boyfriend & my family! Great Post!
I absolutely loved reading this. It is always great to be around young kids who are pleased with even the simplest of activities and enjoy being around anyone who wishes to spend time with them. I cannot agree more that I meet just as many people that I don't like as I do like. I guess it keeps life interesting because we aren't necessarily supposed to be crazy about everyone.
You ladies always have great posts, keep it up!
This is definitely something I'm struggling with right now. I'm learning that I should spend more time with the people that mean more to me, and less with the people that I don't click with but am still spending time with just because I feel like I'm obligated too. I don't think you're horrible and judgmental at all for admitting this and I respect people who do that. I love Toast Talk, Molly. It's so refreshing to read!
I couldn't agree more about friend-love at first sight, and I don't think it's a personality trait to be ashamed of! I don't think we're all like that, but it's something I'm learning to embrace about myself – I tend to just know we'll be friends. Not only that, I sometimes decide that I click with people and weirdly pursue them to make it happen. But, hey, I've made some of my best friends that way …
Adorable little people and don't they just shine!! Why is it when they gt to be around their teen years they start to blow out their lights and withdraw?? I'm dealing oth that it now and I miss the sweetness of the age you are talking about..I have boys but boy they rally liked to talk when they were small! I miss it. Love the points about friends! You nailed it.
really enjoying your posts!
I could not agree with you more. You don't have to be best friends with everyone you meet and it's okay if you don't like them. I definitely need to be more open with my feelings and tell my friends and family how I feel about them. Love how you can get life lessons from children!
xx
Giovanna
http://www.oliveandanarrow.com