Big week this week… Lots of fun events happening, our dad is coming in town, we are making major moves on the apartment, AND it is my birthday on Sunday. My twenty-fifth birthday. I’m pretty calm about the whole situation… I love birthdays and this one in particular feels really exciting. I don’t have any fear about getting older – just lots of excitement and the prediction that 25 will be my best year yet.
So since this is technically a big birthday (halfway to 50, quarter of a century, etc.) I’m thinking about treating myself to some sort of gift. Am I the only one that finds it perfectly okay to splurge on myself? Maybe it’s because I don’t shop all the time that when I want something a little pricy I just get it and don’t think twice… I was pondering this notion over the weekend and it dawned on me that I have never “waited” for someone to give me the things I want or pay for them for me – and I realized this is because of my parents and how they taught us about money.
Growing up, my siblings and I never got an allowance, never got money for gas, and started paying for all our own clothes and extracurriculars as soon as we were in high school. All of us worked weekend jobs while in school and full time jobs during the summer so we could save up for the money that would get us through the upcoming year. Even in college, we didn’t get allowance until we were Juniors and living off campus (therefore not eating the dining hall food and doing beer grocery runs instead). Surprisingly, this “provide for yourself” mentality didn’t bother us… I think we felt lucky enough to be going to private high schools, driving cars our parents paid for, and going to the out of state colleges of our choosing that we weren’t resentful or bothered by spending our own money. Our parents also made us feel very special on our birthdays and Christmas – something I think a lot of our friends may have raised eyebrows at but clearly didn’t understand that it was our twice a year spoiling.
Bottom line, we grew up with a real concept of money. We knew how expensive it was for our dad to educate us and we knew that it was a privilege to have our mom buy us our dresses for high school dances. I’ll never forget being in college and one of my friends saying that she couldn’t imagine buying her own designer jeans… I don’t think I was even annoyed hearing that – I was just shocked. I bought my own underwear! And my own jeans, haircuts, running shoes, make-up, etc. etc. Knowing that it was my money I was spending made me acutely aware of every purchase I made. Yes, I might have a bit of financial anxiety (see Toast Talk no. 2) because of the responsibility but it made me a smart spender. It also allowed me not to feel guilty when I bought myself high-ticket items.
I think I might have talked about this before, but Sally is the sister that shops on the reg and I am the one that saves and then allocates lots of my chips on a few items. I have noooo shame in treating myself sparkly jewelry, expensive handbags, or fun trips. Who else would buy them for me if I didn’t? Why should I expect to have someone else buy me the things I really want? Ew, that just sounds bad. I think long and hard before I spend and I take my time weighing whether I need the item in question or not… There are also times when I will think “maybe I will put this on my ‘Christmas List’ instead of getting it right now,” since I often feel like the brat that has everything; but most of the time, if I want it and I can’t stop thinking about, and it’s within reason and my budget – I buy it.
Here’s the other thing: I don’t splurge because I’m thinking “you only live once,” I splurge because I genuinely think I deserve to. And that’s not a bad thing! If I was doing it once a week, that might be bad – but a couple of times a year (if that) is healthy, according to me. I get such a rush of satisfaction knowing that I saved my hard earned dollars to buy something I love and will use all the time… The items almost have more sentimental value because they represent a point in time or a goal that I personally achieved. When I moved into my first apartment after graduation I got gorgeous new bedding. My first bonus check led me to buying my old Canon Rebel camera. Last year for my birthday I bought myself this Dana Rebecca necklace. When I started my current job I got another dainty sparkler. To mark this milestone birthday I have my eye on this beauty of a handbag. What do you think, friends – am I worth it?
(Image via Viva Luxury)
Happy early birthday Molly!
I was raised just like you and because of this I have the same problem with spending money. I'm very picky. You of course deserve that beautiful bag! It'll last forever. Enjoy it.
Chelsie | mossypants.com
I had a very similar upbringing when it came to money and am so thankful for it. With regards to your 25th 'happy birthday to me' gift, you should absolutely splurge. My gift was the Speedy 30 and I still carry it almost everyday-it's such a classic bag and I love the fact that it was my gift to myself to mark my milestone birthday. (30th or 35th will be Chanel)
Happy Birthday! We are about the same age (you're a couple months older, ha), and I, too, got a car and went to private school. I, however, did not pay for all of my stuff growing up like you did. BUT, I was very aware of and understood the concept of money, which is what I think is important. I completely agree with what you said, and honestly, if you have all of your ducks in a row and you want to spend some money, by all means do it! It's your money, it's your life, and only you know if this is a good decision for you or not. So in answer to your question, yes, totally worth it.
Happy Birthday Molly!!! Gosh, everytime I read your posts I think that both you and Sally have such a relatable and endearing writing style. I feel like I'm talking to one of my friends. And YES!!!! You most definitely deserve that beauty of a bag.
Happy birthday Molly!!! Definitely buy yourself a birthday gift! You deserve it.
Were we secret sisters and just didn't know about it?!? Jk, but my upbringing strongly parallels yours
I remember a sorority sister asking me, "You mean, you don't have a gas card??" Um, no. Having your financial house in order is something I learned early on, but would highly recommend the book Smart Women Finish Rich. Writing my financial goals down and reviewing them weekly has helped me feel less guilty for splurging on expensive shoes and bags!
The Soos Is Loose
Happy early birthday! Glad I'm not the only one who buys herself a birthday gift. I think you're absolutely worth it
I think as long as we are realistic about what we money have available and what is in savings, then we should splurge when we want {an financially can}. And then we feel good that we worked hard for a piece we love. Have a wonderful birthday week! xo
DUH! of course! Happy early birthday! Rebekah http://www.fashionandafellow.com
I kind of work on a reward basis….After I have worked really hard for something then I splurge a little…..I totally get it and think you so deserve to. Plus you are investing on things that last a lifetime. Like my mom always told me…there are certain things you need to get yourself before any man does….a fur coat, some good pearls, a nice handbag. I inherited 2 of my grandma's handbags….so they are approximately 50 years old…..I always prefer something really good quality than many smaller less expensive things. Because guess what will lost longer? Happy ealy birthday! This is an exciting week!
My 20th birthday was this Friday and my name is Molly as well. How funny! I love this post- as I am in total agreeance with you. I work in a designer boutique in Colorado. We are in Fort Collins which is a college town. I see a lot of parents bring their college aged daughters there and buy them their fall, winter, spring, or summer wardrobe, spending well over $1000. I can't even imagine what their concept of money must be like. I think it is terrible parenting and leads to vapid adults with no concept of what the world is really like.
In regards to your birthday spoiling of yourself- I am right there with you! I plan to buy a pair of Rag and Bone Newburys for myself!
One minor correction, you wrote, " I don’t think I was event annoyed hearing that – I was just shocked." I believe you meant to say even rather than event.
Yes! You totally deserve it! It sounds like we were brought up pretty similarly, and I (like you) am very thankful that I learned about money and how to handle it from an early age. I don't shop often either, but am definitely NOT afraid to splurge when I do!
I'll be 25 in February, and looking forward to it as well. I featured that Philip Lim bag on my blog the other day in the burgundy! Hope you'll visit my blog and follow if you enjoy it as much as I do yours!
xo,
Brooke
http://www.decorgreat.blogspot.com
Happy 25th birthday Molly! I would definitely say treat yourself to a good present on your birthday. I agree with your reasoning – I didn't go to private school or get a car or anything like that but did work all through high school and college to pay my own way and I definitely think we should treat ourselves now and then! Enjoy your birthday
Did we grow up in th same household, it seems possible? I grew up with a father who was in the truest sense of the word, an accountant. With working hard comes great rewards and I'm a firm believer in that. Secondly, happy birthday to you!!! I'm approaching the big 2-5 as well and I say treat yourself to something extra special for your big day!
I was raised the same way! I love the feeling of knowing I got something on my own, and feel guilty (well…most of the time) when my parents pay for my indulgences! and I mean, YOU HAVE TO GET THAT BAG.
http://tangerinesandtulle.blogspot.com/
Happy early birthday, I definitely think that birthdays and big events should be celebrated with a memorable purchase!
xx
Here&Now
I think the bag sounds like a perfect gift to buy yourself for your birthday! You clearly have really thought about it and everyone once and a while I think it is great to buy something nice for yourself, it helps to make you appreciate it more!! I hope you have a great birthday!!
PS – as always this was a great toast talk!
Happy Birthday to you! Glad you are treasuring your birthdays …no need to fear said the 50 year old
….I love the way your parents raised you. You can appreciate all your treasures. It's super cool that you are selective in buying things that are really special rate than buying for the sake of buying. Well edited closet will serve to well…it's the 80/20rule and yes it applies to our closets….I just want the 20 percent I wear rather than hangings to the clothes I hope I will fit in again!
Ps I love the pashi bag. And are you getting the color yellow? Reallysassy!
All the best!
Happy birthday miss Molly… You deserve whatever your hearts desire in your bday!!!hope you had some yummy sweets too
Xoxo
I love this mentality and I think that it's really great you credit your parents for it. I think sometimes we're all too hard on our parents. Mine rock! I also really like the idea of saving up for big splurges rather than buying little things that we end up only half-liking.
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